Underneath
by Rosy12686
Summary: This is my first fic for Steven Universe and it takes place after the episode, "Joy Ride" and you have to know what happened in order to understand this. :) Soo...MAJOR SPOILER ALERT! It's kind of becoming it's own now, it's pretty deep and there are some songs that go with it. It's about How Steven has to deal with all the pressure and who he meets in his dreams. Hope ya like it!
1. Dreams

**A/N: Hello Humans, I've come to present you with my first Steven Universe Fanfiction. I got this idea after watching the episode "Joy Ride" in which there are HUGE spoilers for, so I'd recommend watching that episode first. :) Anyway, this takes place after the episode. It's pretty self explanatory. Well, Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer- Steven Universe belongs to Rebecca Sugar and Cartoon Network. The song in this chapter is called Dancing in the sky which belongs to Dani and Lizzy. I would also recommend downloading this wonderful song and read it along with the fic. It'll probably and hopefully, hit you in the feels.**

**P.s.- told from first person perspective which is Steven. **

**Dreams**

I was laying in bed thinking over the day's events. I couldn't sleep for some reason. I don't know if it was because of what I saw today scared me, knowing that Peridot wasn't in her escape pod and could be anywhere on Earth devising a plan in order to destroy us, or if was all the work from cleaning up that made me too tired to sleep. Just thinking about it made me sweat with anxiousness, so I carefully got up out of bed to get a drink of water as to not make me ache even more than I already was. When I got up, my muscles hurt, almost worse than when I tried to be as strong as Sugulite. I shrugged it off. _'Probably from lifting all those heavy green ship pieces.' _As I walked to the kitchen I could hear clattering. I looked up to see Amethyst rooting through the fridge.

"Hey dude." She said, carrying a whole bunch of food and spreading it out on the table.

"Uh, what are you doing?" I asked, rubbing my tired eyes.

"What does it look like? I'm hoggin' out baby!" She began stuffing her face.

"At three o'clock in the morning?" I smiled, knowing that she does what she wants.

She gave me a look. "You know gems don't need sleep, though I love sleep, but food has to be number one before sleep. You should know me by now, steveboy." She said ruffling my hair.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I said, but on the inside, sometimes I wish I was a full blooded gem so I don't have to feel so tired all the time because of not getting any sleep. "They don't need to eat either." I half laughed, half yawned.

She got done shoving her face of food and sat back in her chair feeling relaxed. '_Hmph, I wish I could feel relaxed.' _I thought to myself.

"Why aren't you sleeping? Hmm..lemme guess you're still upset about Peridot?"

"Yeah.." I said, hesitating to say anything more. I really wanted to talk to her about my burdens but I...just can't for some reason. It's not just her that I want to talk to, its all of three of them.

"Awww, it's fine guy. We'll find her sooner or later." She smiled having a determined look on her face. "And when we do, I'll hit her with a chair!" She motioned one hand punching into the other.

I laughed. "Kay, well, I'm going to try and get some sleep." I said, finishing my glass of water and wiping my mouth with my sleeve.

"Night!" Her gem lit up on her chest opening the door to her sanctuary. She slipped in without saying another word.

I tried to say goodnight to her but she was already in the door before I could. "Night..." I said, putting my hand up, knowing it was too late. I walked over to the stairs leading to my small but lovable room. Before I put my foot on the first step, I looked up to the picture of my mom hanging above the tiny staircase. "Goodnight, mom. I love you." I whispered, walking to my bed. I laid down, snuggling into the comforter. I closed my eyes, trying to lose myself in the dreamworld. Suddenly, my eyes jerked open. I heard something, familiar. I looked to the Warp Pad below, but didn't see anything as well as the kitchen and living room. I shrugged to myself, laying down once more that night. I closed my eyes. I heard it again. At this point I was beginning to get annoyed. I just threw my pillow over my ears encasing a sound that sounded like the blood coursing through my veins, from the nervousness. I decided to turn on the radio on my alarm clock.

_Tell me, What does it look like in Heaven? Is it peaceful, is it free like they say? Does the sun shine bright forever? Has your fears and your pain gone aaawwwayyy? _It sang.

It was a song that pulled at my heart strings. It reminded me of my mom. I listened to the next verse that made me want to bawl my eyes out, wishing that my mom was here with me right now.

_Cause here on Earth, it feels like everything, good is missing since you left...and here on Earth everything's different, there's an emptiness..._

By then, tears started rolling down my cheeks. I started to sing along.

_Oh-Oh-I- I hope you're daaaannncing in the sky, I hope you're singin' in the Angels choir, and I hope the A-A-Angels know what they have. I bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived...since you arrived. _

By the time the song ended, I started to drift off to sleep.

_Steven's Dream:_

I was in a pink colored room...kind of like my mom's, except it wasn't made of clouds. It had a soft cotton and grassy like feel to it. I looked around, hearing my name being called. But before I could figure out who's the soft and velvety voice belonged to, I heard a sobbing noise.

"I'm never gonna make it outta here! Never!" Said the voice.

Then I heard a pound. It sounded like a fist connecting with a metal bar.

"Shut-up!" Said another, much more aggressive voice.

I made my way through the fog, focusing on the soft voice calling my name. As I came to a clear ending, I saw what appeared to be a figure standing at the end of the fog tunnel. She had huge pink curls that cascaded down to her shoulders and down her back, with a white dress and belly button gem, in the middle of a star. I knew immediately who she was. I ran to her, hoping that she wouldn't disappear into clouds or something. I looked straight into her eyes with her giving me a soft and gentle smile. I ran right into her arms, embracing her with everything I had.

She put her arms around me as well and started to speak.

"Steven. I'm always with you. I would never leave you." She said, a tear streaking down her pink tinted cheeks.

"Mom, please...come back. I-I need you. _We_ need you. I feel like I'm the reason why you're not there, like it was my fault." I stuttered, starting to sob in her arms.

"Oh Steven. It's not your fault. It was never anyone's fault. It's just nature, and nature can be cruel at times. But don't let it get to you, sweetheart. You live with wonderful people. They are your family, and so am I. You are a loving and caring individual. I will always be a part of you."

She hugged me even tighter.

"I-I know. But, sometimes I feel like the gems...I feel like they think that I'm the reason you left." I started crying again.

"But you're not...you must talk to them Steven. Talk to them about the things that bother you and you'll feel better. Don't keep it bottled up inside of you. You're amazing. Don't let the small things ruin your soul. Talking helps." She said, gingerly brushing her finger against my cheeks to wipe the pain away.

"Okay...thanks mom. I-I love you!" I sobbed, knowing that the dream was coming to an end.

"I love you too, sweetheart." She smiled.

We sat there embracing each other until I heard a loud scream.

_End Dream_

**"STEVEN!"**

I opened my eyes to a frantic looking Pearl, and a worried Garnet and Amethyst.

"W-wha?" I shielded my eyes from the light.

"Oh Steven, you're okay!" They all hugged me, Pearl with tears in her eyes.

"W-what's going on?" I said sleepily, still being tired. Then I realized they were hugging me a little too tight causing the pain in my muscles to reach a high level. "OWWW! Please, take it easy will you? I'm still hurting from yesterday's clean up."

"Oh, sorry Steven." They let go.

"So what's all this shouting about?" I rubbed my eyes.

"You've been sleeping since yesterday!" Amethyst shouted.

"We're just glad you're alright." Garnet said, calmly.

"Y-yeah..." I said wringing my fingers, thinking about the dream I had. It didn't seem like it took that long. As I was sitting there thinking, I guess I was staring because Pearl snapped me out of my trance.

"Steven, are you alright?" She asked, a little worriedly.

I sighed. "Y-yeah." I smiled a fake smile to reassure her. "I'm fine, guys. Thanks for waking me up." But I couldn't help but think they were the reason the dream ended. I didn't want it to ever end. I was with my mom, in her soft and ginger arms. I don't thought back to it and I began getting a little mad about them waking me up.

"Are you sure about that because you were crying in your sleep and throwing tantrums for the past day!" Amethyst blurted out.

"Amethyst!" Pearl shouted at her. "He wasn't throwing tantrums, he was just squirming." Which as you all know becomes a full-blown argument between those two and it was starting to irritate me a little. It became louder when Garnet interfered trying to break up the two.

I couldn't help myself so I accidentally yelled. "PLEASE, COULD YOU GUYS TAKE THIS SOMEWHERE ELSE?! My head is killing me." I said putting a pillow over my head. Then I heard them all, they were quiet now. I took the pillow off of my head and saw them standing there looking flabbergasted. They were all shocked that I yelled.

"Steven...are..are you absolutely sure you're feeling alright?" Pearl was staring at me with a weird expression, like I was an alien or something.

"I'd probably be better off if you guys would leave me alone, please?" I was trying to be polite, I don't know what came over me. _Why am I being so ignorant? _I thought to myself.

But they just kept staring. Garnet and Amethyst both started too. It was annoying me to high heaven. "WHAT?!" I yelled.

"Y-your eyes...they look...terrible." Pearl said, her hand covering her mouth.

Just then a knock came to the door...it was a familiar knock...I knew who it would be...

**A/N: Sorry for leaving you guys on such a cliffhanger, but I'm horribly tired which could explain all the feels. I truly hope it made you cry, because it certainly made me, and I have no sympathy for you whatsoever. LOL. Oh, and btw, I can't, for some odd reason, describe fight scenes. So I will try and work on that. Anywho, the two other voices in Steven's dream, we'll get to in the next chapter. Oh, and another thing I forgot to mention, I don't have a plot for this. I don't have a plot for any of my fanfics I just write what I feel. So I hoped you liked it, it was really fun to write and tell me what you think! R&amp;R! ;) **

**-Rosey**


	2. The Visit

**A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for the positive feedback! It's nice to be appreciated for something you love doing! :) ooo! Listen to "Where my Demons Hide" by, we'll I'm not actually sure but you can listen to the cover by Sam Tsui. This is kind of forming into a. Full blown fanfiction. Anyways, let's get on with this wonderful story! **

**Disclaimer- you know the answer. *Sigh* no owny SU, or the song!**

**The Visit**

_**Knock knock knock**_

I knew who it was...it was Connie. We made up a secret knock not too long ago to let each other know that it was one of us.

Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet, however, kept staring at me for some odd reason. I got tired of it and got up out of bed feeling the excruciating pain coursing through my body. '_Ouch' _I said in my thoughts. I didn't want the Gems to see me in pain just to make them worry, so as I was making my way to the door, I turned my head towards a mirror that I was passing. I looked at myself and saw a face. It was me, but it didn't look like me. I had horrible dark bags under my eyes, making it look like I had _two _black eyes, like the one Jasper gave me not too long ago. Then I looked to my eyes, they were a dark shade of red where the white should be. I grasped the sides of my head, stumbling to the door and opening it, revealing a surprised Connie. I looked to her. She had a hand over her mouth, gasping. I could see the worry in her face. I made a face that said 'Help-Me', then she came forward and embraced me so tight that the pain had gotten worse. The bulges of water started to form in the corners of my eyes.

"Oh Steven! I'm so glad you're okay! I called to see if you wanted to hang out yesterday and the Gems said you were tired and have been sleeping. Then I called again this morning and they said they were getting worried because you were _still _sleeping and haven't moved since they came back from one of their missions!" She said, not realizing the pain I was feeling. Just then she realized the looks on the Gems' faces. She broke the embrace between us and pulled back away from me. She looked into my broken eyes. "A-are you okay?"

"I-it hurts." I mouthed to her with tears staining my face.

"What does?" She questioned.

I turned away not wanting to show my weakness.

"Steven, you have to tell me!" She yelled, which caught the Gems' attention, breaking them from their stare.

_When the days are cold and the cards all fold and the saints we see are all made of gold. _

"What's going on, Steven?" Asked Pearl.

"Nothing!" I said, rather loudly.

_When your dreams all fail, and the ones we hail, are the worst of all and the bloods run stale. _

I walked back to my bed to sit down because I was feeling light headed.

Connie followed by Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet came up the stairs to question me on my actions.

_'I really don't feel like telling them now...' _My thoughts said. Then I layed back, watching them...they kept on staring. It was starting to scare me. "W-What?" I said.

"I-It's just that we've never seen you like this, Steven." Said Connie.

Garnet spoke up. "She's right."

"Aww, come on guys! I'm sure he's perfectly fine! He's Steven!" None other than Amethyst stated.

I heard Pearl and Garnet agree. That's what broke it...that's what broke the cage on the inside. I could almost hear a crack in my head, I could feel it too. All the bottled up emotions, they were going to come out...

_I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you. But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide._

"You guys really think that I'm fine?" I said calmly, clamping my fists, looking downwards.

There were murmurs of yeses from all four of them.

_No matter what we breed we still are made of greed this is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come. _

"W-well...you want to know something? Not everything in this world is perfect! Especially me! I don't have to be that happy go-lucky, perfect boy all the time, ya know. Nature can be cruel sometimes...of course you all should know that because of what happened to my mom! And I hope that you know what happened to her could as well happen to me someday...and when that day comes..." I started to cry into my blankets as I covered up laying down... _I really, really wish I was a full Gem sometimes...' _I thought to myself knowing that the day would come sooner or later, that I would be with my mom. I looked to them...they all looked so...sad. I honestly, have no idea what came over me...I guess it was just the pressure and the weight of the world on my shoulders. I said what I said because I really didn't want to bring up the subject of talking to them...but I guess I pretty much expressed it there. Pearl had a hand over mouth, eyes wide open. Garnet stood there, and you could see the tears running down and out from under her shades probably dreading 'the day' I just mentioned. Amethyst, she had her mouth agape standing beside a disturbed looking Connie.

_When you feel my heat, look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide, it where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. _

"Steven..." Pearl said.

"I-I'm sorry guys, I guess I don't know what came over me..." I had my hands over my face, facing the ceiling trying to hide the shame.

Garnet walked over to me, she gave me a gentle hug and whispered in my ear. "It's okay Steven, we forgive you." She smiled knowing that I was back to normal.

But little did she know the things running a mile a minute through my mind. "C-could I maybe be alone for a little while?" I said back to her.

She smiled. "Sure." She walked calmly back to the other three and motioned for them to leave. "I think Steven needs to be alone for awhile. Connie. I think you should go home." She said.

Connie looked to her. "Okay." She said, her head a downward cast walking to the door. She then turned around and walked up to the Gems'. "Is he going to be okay?" I heard her whisper.

Garnet looked to her. She knelt down in front of the dark colored girl and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm pretty sure he'll be fine...he's...growing." She hesitated. Then she got back up to her stoic form.

"Okay, but please make sure he'll be alright.." She turned to me. "Bye Steven. I'll talk to you later." She gave me a small smile and disappeared outside, with the door closing behind her.

I looked to the Gems' who all looked at me. I could tell what they were thinking. Breaking the silence, was Amethyst. "Well, ima go take a pretend nap." She said, her gem lighting up the door.

"Ooohhhh, no you don't!" Pearl said grabbing her before she could slip inside. She whispered something to her and I couldn't hear what she said so I just layed down due to feeling dizzy. Just then, everything went black.

I was in a dark looking place...I could hear a song...

_When the curtains fall is the last of all and the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl. _

_'Where am I?' _I thought. But I looked up to see my thoughts being answered. It was a cage with metal bars. I was in it. I walked up to the cage. "H-hello?" I said. The me inside turned around and smiled a sinister smile.

"You wanna know why you broke out like that? You wanna know why you've been pressured so much?"

"Y-yeah?" I asked instead of stating. I was becoming more afraid by the minute.

"You see this cage? It's about to break...I'm your aggressive side and seeing this horrible and stressing mess you've created for yourself by fighting against the homeworld gems, trying to keep everyone safe because you have your mothers Shield, trying not to let anyone worry about the horrible situation...well, let's just face the facts that your optimist side just isn't going to cut it." He looked to where the cage was cracking and pointed to it. "I'm almost out, and when I do escape...lets just say its probably going to be better for you." He smiled that sinister smile once again. I turned around and started to run, run as fast I could.

_'No! T-this can't be happening!' _Suddenly I ran to another cage that looked like it was broken. I walked up to it and as I was standing there staring at it, another figure of me came into view.

"Before you say anything. I'm just going to say that I've escaped...and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it." He raised his hands making a series of metal bars clamp around me forming a cage.

_So they dug your grave and then masquerade and calling out the mess you've made. _

"Noooo!" I screamed clamping the bars.

"I'm the negative side of you, and when the aggressive side of you comes out of the cage that _I'm _going to break, We'll clean this mess up for you real quick. Oh and by the way the gems just think you're a mistake that has took place of your mother." He said as the red glowing of the gem in his, my, belly button started to glow, he disappeared...

**End of whatever that ^ 0.0 was. **

My eyes shot wide open, with a cold sweat upon my face. I was in my bed staring at my wooden ceiling. I looked out the window seeing the darkness encase the sky. It was then I realized I was shaking. It was nighttime. How could that dream or whatever it was, be so long? Did they really escape? Did the Gems really think that? A million questions were running through my mind.

When I heard the door open to the Gems' room, I acted like I was sleeping.

Pearl, Amethyst, and Garnet walked out and into the kitchen looking alarmed.

"Did you guys hear that too?" I heard Amethyst say. "It sounded like Steven."

"It did...hmm...you two stay back. I'll go check on him." Pearl said.

I could hear her footsteps coming up the stairs and I could feel her gaze burning through my back. I decided that it was now or never. I acted like I just got up and pretended to yawn and stretched my arms in the air.

"Hey, Pearl." I looked down and replied, "hey Garnet, Amethyst." I don't know why but I felt so open. I thought this was a good time to talk to them about my problems.

"Hey Steve-boy! How ya feelin'?" Said Amethyst, jumping onto my bed when she came up, followed by Garnet.

"Uh-um...fine...I guess..." I suddenly felt so nervous around them.

_Don't wanna let you down, but I am held down. Know this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth. No matter what we breed we still are made of greed this is my kingdom come, this is my kingdom come..._

"We heard screaming." Garnet stated.

"Yeah it sounded like, _'Nooo!' _Amethyst imitated, and started to laugh.

"Are you okay, Steven?" Pearl asked looking into my eyes.

_When you feel my heat, look into my eyes it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. _

"Y-yeah." I whispered.

"Okay then we'll let you rest." She smiled and they all started to walk back to their rooms. But before they did, I grabbed Pearls hand making her turn around.

My head was hung down as I held her hand.

"What's the matter, Steven?" She asked.

"I-im not okay!" I yelled, the tears coming back and my head jerking up. "I-I've been having dreams..." I said to them. Just then everything flashed through my mind. From Jasper knocking me out to breaking them out of space jail, to my dad freaking out and to the confrontation I had with Connie. Then it went onto the dreams. What I didn't realize was that it was all playing through my gem and onto a holographic screen in the air, like Pearl had.

_They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate, it woven in my soul. I need to let it go._

_Your eyes they shine so bright, I wanna save that light. I can't escape this now unless you show me how. _

It closed, and I stood there feeling ashamed of all the stress that had just played through my gem.

"S-Steven...I didn't realize you went through all that..." Pearl said.

"Wow." Was all Amethyst could say.

I couldn't help myself and fell to my knees, feeling exhausted from all the energy it had taken out of me.

I looked up to them, "D-Do you guys really think I'm a mistake?"

"No Steven, why would you think that?" Pearl said nervously laughing.

"Because I feel like it's my fault mom isn't here..." I looked downwards, still on my knees, looking vulnerable to them.

"G-garnet, a little help here." She said looking back to her.

She walked up to me and kneeled down. "Steven, why would you ever think that? We love you...all of us even Ruby and Sapphire." She smiled.

"Are you sure about that?" I said becoming irritable for some reason. Then I heard a voice in my head..._I told you we are gonna fix this mess up for you! _It said. I knew immediately that it was the negative side that spoke in my dream. "No." I whispered grabbing my head stumbling backwards.

"Steven!" I heard Pearl yell. She ran up to me and tried to help me up but I pushed her hand away.

"No, let me _alone_!" I yelled. "I know you guys think I'm the reason she left...I can feel it." I said clutching my stomach. "All _that_. Everything I've ever done for you all, this stress I've taken in...it gotten me sick! Sick to my stomach..."

_When you feel my heat look into my eyes it's where my demons hide, it where my demons hide. Don't get too close, it's dark inside. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. _

(End song)

"But we don't." Pearl said getting worried by the second.

"Oh yeah? What about the way _you _acted when we found the sword? You ran away from me like I was nothing... and Amethyst, I heard you talking to my Dad when we were trying to clean the storage shed...when you turned into her...when you turned into my mom...I also heard you guys..." I got to my feet and started towards them, pointing a finger at them. "I also heard you guys talking when you made that test for me...you said it would be better If she'd be around...you rigged the tests...you guys...you guys let me down...I acted like it was nothing...I acted like it was real because I didn't want to see you guys get hurt...but it turns out that I've been hurting myself, everytime I try to help you guys! _You guys _need to be the adults! NOT ME!" I yelled...I was so horribly exhausted from everything that I was starts to sway.

"STEVEN!" Was all I heard before I felt something catch me and I blacked out.. _Once again. _

**A/N: Woo boy, here we go again! Pretty deep, huh? I hope you guys liked it tho! I stayed up all night making it...it is now 4:30 and I think I'm going to lay down now, like Stevens doing right now. *passes out like Steven* **

**-Rosey**


	3. The Realization

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for not writing for awhile, I've been busy with homework. Ugh. Anyway here is a small carrot for you guys to munch on till' I get this work done. Haha, get it? Happy Easter! :) **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN SU, Rebecca and Cartoon Network do! The song for this chapter is Human, by Christina Perri. LISTEN WHILE YOU READ! **

**The Realization**

**Steven's Mind: **

I looked around. I was in a cage. Then I remembered that _they _had locked me up.

I started to sob quietly. Then I heard footsteps. Then two figures. Then, _them. _

It was the two evil sides of me, standing side by side. My negative side and my aggressive side. _They _were the reason I broke out like that in front of the gems.

The negative one spoke. "Our work here is done." He said dusting his hands together.

"R-really?" I said, scared of what they were going to do next.

"Yep." Said my aggressive side. "Just promise me you'll talk with them about the things that hurt you."

The voice started to turn into my mom's as it spoke. "M-mom?" I questioned, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Yes Steven. It's me.." She spoke softly as the room around me turned to that pink and grassy place. The cage around me turned into clouds. I was almost afraid that my mom would turn into clouds this time if I got near her. I looked to her face.

"I-it was you this whole time?"

"No, Steven. I had to free your other personalities in order for you to learn a lesson." She said.

I smiled to her and hugged her again, and seeing as she didn't disappear I hugged her tighter. "Thanks mom." I said tears rolling down my cheeks. "I needed that. I will talk to them...I promise." I said.

Then she pushed me back and looked into my eyes. She mouthed a thank you and disappeared into the clouds in the sky.

I still lingered in the room for a moment and fell to my knees in the soft and gentle pink grass. I started to laugh with tears of joy threatening to spill. "Im free!" I yelled.

Then I heard a soft voice call my name...

"Steven? Steven."

"Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl?" I asked.

**End mind/ dream**

I woke up in my bed to the Gems huddling around me. "Ugh...what happened?"

Garnet spoke. "You blacked out, I caught you before you hit the ground."

"Uh, are you sure I didn't hit the ground? Because I feel horrible.." I said holding my head in my hands.

"Yeah...I'm sure." She replied.

"Steven..." Pearl had a dazed look on her face. I looked to her, grasping my head.

"Y-yeah?" I asked, embarrassed as I remembered what I did before I blacked out. Then I thought of what my mom had said. I held my breath, knowing that it was time for the talk.

Suddenly, my radio turned on by itself. Then I heard a voice in my head that sounded like my moms. _'I turned on this song for a reason, Steven.' _Her voice stated. 'What's that supposed to mean?' I thought.

_I can hold my breath..._

"D-do you really feel that way?" She asked. Amethyst and Garnet were both looking at me with the same look. I bit my tongue, ready for the words to come out.

_I can bite my tongue..._

"Y-y-y" I was stuttering... "YES!" I finally shouted out.

"But why?" Amethyst asked.

"Because...because...sometimes I stay awake at night looking at the portrait of my mom...having flashbacks of you guys with the thought that I was the reason she's not here and not to mention all that I've been through...with breaking you guys outta space jail and stuff." Tears running down my cheeks.

_I can stay awake for days if that's what you want. Be your number one. _

"But you always seem so happy, Steven." Pearl said, sounding like she was going to cry.

The song started to get louder on the radio. It seemed like it was going with our conversation. I started to sing along as if I were singing my feelings to them.

"_I can fake a smile, I can force a laugh. I can dance and play the part of that's what you ask...give you all I am..." _

"Steven..." They said looking amazed, but I kept going, not noticing my gem glow.

_"I can do it. I can do it. I can do iiiittttt." _

By now, my gem was glowing with all of the flashbacks running through my head, around us.

"BUT I'M ONLY HUMAN, AND I BLEED WHEN I FALL DOWN. I'M ONLY HUMAN, AND I CRASH AND I BREAK DOWN. YOUR WORDS IN MY HEAD, KNIVES IN MY HEART, YOU BUILD ME UP AND THEN I FALL APART. CAUSE I'M ONLY HUMMAAAANN." I sang my heart out.

I looked to them. Their eyes were huge realizing the pain I've been feeling.

It zoomed up to the ship that we were held hostage on.

_I can turn it on, be a good machine...I can hold the weight of worlds if that's what you need. Be your everything. _

The song got louder.

_I CAN DO IT. I CAN DO IT. _

I joined in again. "I'll get through It. But I'm only human! And I bleed when I fall down, I'm only human and I crash and I break down. Your words in my head, knives in my heart. You build me up until I fall apart because I'm only HUMMMAAAANNN!"

By now the flashbacks were going faster. I kept singing.

"I'm only human!"

Faster.

"I'm only human..."

Faster.

"JUST A LITTLE HUMAAAAAANNN!"

I fell to my knees, with all of the flashbacks that were flashing around the room retreated to my gem from exhaustion.

I started to sing again..." I can take so much...till I've had enough..."

"Cause I'm only human! And I bleed when I fall down, I'm only human and I crash and I break down...your words in my head...knives in my heart..you build me up and then I fall apart...because I'm only..." The song faded. And I finished. "Human..." I stated.

I looked up, panting.

"OH, STEVEN!" Pearl shouted bursting into tears. She hugged me and so did Garnet and Amethyst.

"Steven...I had no idea..." They all mumbled.

"We're so sorry... We've never thought of you like that...well maybe on occasion.. But it's not true..." Pearl said.

"Yeah Steven you're just like Rose, even if you are half human." Said Amethyst.

"Your voice inspires us Steven...you are just as great as Rose ever was. You're the reason we're here on earth right now..." Garnet wiped a tear.

"We should really let Steven relax...he IS just a kid..." Amethyst said.

"Yeah...Steven you don't have to go on missions with us for awhile. You can take a couple days off." Pearl smiled, wiping her tears away and reached down to wipe the pain away from my eyes as well.

"Thanks guys, but I'd really rather go on missions with you." I said smiling my optimistic smile again.

And I For once...in a long time...felt like myself again...

'Take care of them Steven'

**A/N: Well? Whaddya think? I'm going to be doing one more chapter focusing on Connie and Steven so there you have it! This story's not over yet folks! Maybe the next chapter will be the last but I hoped you guys liked this one. I know I did! I might even do a video on it with this song! How's that sound? Then R&amp;R! ;) HAPPY EASTER, LOVE YA GUYZ! **

**-Rosey**


	4. Converations & Fun

**A/N: Hey SU fans. Sorry for the delay. I had to figure out what I was going to do for this chapter, which is the very last chappie of the story. Due to copyright issues there will not be a song along with this one sadly. I just now found out that songfics were prohibited...anyway I hope you enjoy the last chapter and don't forget to pay close attention to it!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own the show Steven Universe nor the characters. They belong to their respective owners. **

**The Conversation**

"So what you mean to tell me is that you've been under a lot of pressure to the point where you have been having weird dreams that included your mother?" Connie asked me as we were sitting on the beach near the water.

"Yes..." I replied blandly. I was tired from not getting much sleep, I was thinking about my mom and the lesson that she had taught me, the past few days prior.

I stared off into the ocean, not realizing that I was spacing out. I was thinking back to the dream, flashbacks playing in my mind.

"Steven?" No answer. "Steven." No answer. "Steven, are you okay?" Connie had asked.

I realized my stupor and snapped out of it. I nodded my head in reply to her question. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. She was looking into my eyes, I could tell. I looked back to her. She looked a little nervous. "W-what is it?" I asked, shakily.

Connie leaned back and frowned. "This isn't like you, Steven..."

I was confused. "What's not like me?" I question further.

"Your eyes, they look so dim...you look drained. What happened to the optimistic boy that I used to know?"

I was a little taken back. "What do you mean?"

"Steven, you know what I mean...you aren't you anymore. I can tell and so can the Gems."

"Well, I guess he's gone for awhile..." I said, regretting it. I knew my optimism was still here, it was just buried beneath the stress and pressure.

"No. Steven, you can't be serious...you were never this serious. This isn't you...where is the Steven that cheered me up when I was sad, the Steven that made a new ending to that book we read just to make me happy, huh?" She kept questioning.

"Look, Connie. Sometimes in your life, you change. Whether it be because you don't have a mother, the stress that the gems put you through just because you're human and can be able to break them out of jail, Jasper knocking me out, spaceship crashes..." By now I was listing my own disadvantages. I stopped there, that was enough reasons."It's difficult, you know? I can't always be a happy-go-lucky boy all the time...you may think being a Gem with a magical destiny is cool, but in all honesty, it's horrible. It's been making me change. I have been having these dreams because I don't talk about the problems that come with it. My mom..." I stopped there, my eyes began to well up with water.

"I'm sorry, Steven...I didn't mean to pressure you..." She said, looking down with guilt. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to..."

"That's the problem! I _have _to talk about it! If I don't, it's just gonna add more to the plate, a-and I've bitten off more than I can chew..."

"Steven...you know you can vent to me about your problems. You don't have to keep it a secret just to protect me. I can handle it..._we_ can do this..._we _can make it through the fog." She grabbed my hand. "I promise.."

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. "Do you really want to know?" I asked her in all seriousness.

"Yes...yes Steven, I do..."

**Meanwhile with the Gems:**

Outside of the Temple behind a large rock, a couple of feet away from where Steven and Connie had been sitting, they were listening in on the conversation.

"I knew it..." Pearl said, the tears prickling at the corners of her eyes.

"Dang...I never knew we put him through that much..." Amethyst.

Garnet, however stood stealthily behind the large rock, focusing on their conversation.

"I just feel like they don't...ugh...it's hard to explain..." I said as I facepalmed myself.

"I-it's okay. I get what you're trying to say.." Connie stated. "You just don't feel appreciated by them...and you feel like they don't get you...is that it, Steven?"

She looked to me, intently waiting for an answer. I simply nodded my head.

The Crystal Gems watched that fateful nod. It was hurting them to know that he thought that they didn't appreciate him.

"We have to do something..." Garnet stated.

Pearl lifted her face from her hands, tears struck her face. "Yes, I agree."

All three of them walked out from behind the rock, and approached the two children.

Garnet lay a hand on his shoulder. He jumped backwards causing him to let out a small yelp.

"Sorry, Steven. We hear- I mean _overheard _your conversation." Pearl stated.

"No you didn't...I knew you guys were back there...I could hear you.." He said, looking out to the ocean once more.

"Dude, if you needed to talk to us, why didn't you?" Amethyst questioned.

"B-because, I was afraid what you guys might think..."

"Awww, Steven. Don't be afraid. If you need to talk to us about something, especially if we did something wrong, then don't let it bottled up inside. After all, you do live with us." Pearl smiled weakly to him.

"Pearls right Steven. We are here for you, just as you are here for us." Garnet said as she wiped away a tear of pain from under her futuristic glasses.

"And remember, I'm here for you too." Connie smiled.

"Thanks guys." He said, wiping a year away as well.

"I pretty sure that your mother has taught you all you need to know about keeping it in." Pearl smiled to me. "In the meantime, why don't we do something fun?"

"Yeah, let's wreck this joint!" Amethyst yelled getting excited, while jumping up and down.

Garnet looked to her. "Amethyst, calm down."

She laughed excitedly as I looked to them. "Yeah, that would be nice. Connie are you coming with us?"

"Yeah, sure. That is if they don't mind." She pointed to the Gems.

"Not at all Connie!" Pearl said excitedly.

**Later...**

I was in bed. This time thinking about all of the positive things that happened today.

We all decided to go to the boardwalk and hang out. We went to the different varieties of restaurants which Amethyst decided to eat all of the food that we bought. I was laughing the whole time and having a great time with them all. Then, afterwards we went to Funland and rode all kinds of rides, which of course ended with Amethyst puking. At the end of the day we sat at the horizon, watching the sun set slowly as we took pictures of each other on my phone, to cherish this wonderful day. The day that I finally got over my fear of telling them my burdens. As I sat there, I watched them. I was so pleased to see their happy and smiling faces. That was the thing that made me smile, seeing them happy. Not seeing them in pain of my burdens, but enjoying each other's company, in which they proved to me that they enjoyed having me around because knowing that I had a part of my mom in me, I would be just as great as her.

I lay there smiling at the wonderful memories that I would cherish forever, until I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Steven? Are you alright?" Asked Pearl.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. Thanks you guys! I had a great time today!" I said to them.

All three of the gems were huddled in my room. I had asked them to stay with me for the night, to which they had approved. Pearl was on my right side as Garnet was on my left. Amethyst, however, was lying at the end of the bed hanging her head down. "Could you keep it down? I'm trying to pretend sleep." Amethyst said, waving a hand in the air.

"Amethyst." Pearl said to her in particular. Then she looked back to me. "No problem, Steven."

Garnet nodded in response. "We must go on a mission tomorrow. Steven, you are welcome to come." She said to us.

"Yeah! I totally wanna come!" I said, excitedly.

Pearl spoke up. "Okay, then get your rest. You're gonna need plenty of strength tomorrow."

"Where are we going this time?" I questioned.

"You'll see." Garnet replied, with a smile.

"Okay, goodnight guys!" I said to them, which earned a small groan from Amethyst and murmurs of goodnights from Pearl and Garnet.

It has now been an hour and I woke up in the middle of the night, half asleep. So I got up to get a glass of water, but carefully as not to bother the others. When I came back, I looked to the bunch huddled on my bed, leaving a small space for me. I watched them intently. Their eyes closed, the silence spread around the room. The only thing to be heard was our gentle breathing. I looked to the rise and fall of their chests. Were they...sleeping? I decided not to bother them. Even though they say they don't need sleep, _everybody _needs a rest every once in awhile. Especially the Crystal Gems. I cautiously made my way back into the warm peace of my bed. As I layed down, Pearl and Garnet snuggled into me, making me feel secure.

A couple minutes later, as I drifted off to sleep, I heard Pearl mumble something in her sleep. "Steven, I want to inspire you..."

I smiled. After Sugilites defeat she would sing it to me before I'd go to sleep. At the soft sounding music of her voice, I fell asleep, excited to know where we were going on our mission tomorrow and the first time feeling completely like myself, once again, I dreamt my own interpretation of it.

~FIN

...

**IMPORTANT:**

**A/N: Well? How was it? I'd like some feedback from you! Whether it be good or bad. Idc. Anything. Here's a question, did you like the story? Why? If not, tell me why. I'd like to know these things in order for me to become a better writer. Thanks for the support guys! This is the second story checked off of my complete list. R&amp;R! ;) **

**If you liked this one, check out my other one, it's called, "RAISING STEVEN" it's on hold for now, but I'm planning to update it soon. So keep a look out! **

**-Rosey**


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